Tuesday, May 7, 2013

That Month Long Gap

It's been awhile since my last post, huh? 

It certainly hasn't been for the lack of thoughts and ideas. I just haven't known how to verbalize any of them. Some of them have been too heavy for me to carry, so I let them go for now... 

During lunch with a friend several weeks ago, we discussed our concern for having not been doing the things we love- for her photography and me writing. 

"What's up with that?? I feel as though I'm losing some of myself, " she mused. 

I agreed and wondered why I hadn't been able to spit a single word out in weeks in spite of having so much to say. 

After a few moments of considering our dilemma, I wondered if maybe times that feel "dry" or "blocked" are actually a necessary part of our creative process. Perhaps sometimes we need to step back from whatever our craft is, regardless of how much we love it, to give ourselves time to rest, process, and allow new inspiration to find its way into our lives without us feeling as though we need to control how it enters and in what way. 

Maybe what appears to be lacking is actually finding new depth through a necessary hiatus from directly working and allowing ourselves to just do what seems right for the time even when it seems to be the opposite of what we think we should be doing.

That said, hopefully after a month of silence, some of the words that have been pent up will find a coherent way to assemble themselves into expression.


  1. Well, here's a bit more proof that we are all truly connected. I signed up for the Tiny Buddha updates, read your piece today (Find Peace Today: Stop Worrying About What You Might Lose) then circled back to this blog. What you've written is really resonating with me. I'm older than you and have actually been a practicing creative professional for 30 years. I'm very proud that I can tell people, "I've been creative for a living for my whole life..." BUT, those feelings of being alone in this process, being stuck, feeling like you are an imposter, that everyone else out there has something better to write or something better to design, never really leaves you. I suppose it never should, because it can humble you. But I've found myself, after personal events in my life, become paralyzed. And being a kooky creative type that always felt like an outsider — can make you feel worse, if you let it. What happens after you've been a creative professional for a while is you can lapse into cynicism as if by virtue of actually having made the first leaps, you have a voice inside of you that says, "I've been here before, and frankly, I still don't want to feel fear, so why should I try?" You question your whole existence, "why couldn't I have chosen a conventional profession with better job security?" But what always seems to help is to share it. Put the vulnerability out there. There is ALWAYS someone who GETS you. But be sure to find a friend who doesn't try to change you, but reminds you of who you are. And when you shine the light on your shame, pretty soon it dries up and blows away. You aren't giving it any more of the imagined power you've given it. And before you know it, you realize you are simply wired this way. And that actually, every human is a creative being, you've just taken the risk to honor that. Keep talking to people who truly care about you. Do busy work, mindless stuff and pretty soon, you're grateful that you can even do the mindless stuff. And then you'll see something seemingly ordinary that inspires you. Or an idea comes to your head and you keep thinking about it. Then you are extrapolating ways to make the idea real, or to make it an actual thing that others can use. And the idea keeps banging around in your head so much that you have to commit it to something. Then one day that creative thing is staring back at you and you can say, without hesitation: "I made this." And sometimes that thing that you created moves someone else. Just as your words moved me. So, thanks. And don't stop.

    1. Wow. Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to me. Your words are encouraging and inspiring as I'm just beginning my journey of figuring out what to do with my life, or more so, how... I know I want to be writing. Saying, "I want to be a writer" always sounded kinda like saying "I want to be a rockstar" so I avoided it for years. "And that actually, every human is a creative being, you've just taken the risk to honor that." I left a very stable well paying job to give myself this chance to really come alive- to do something that makes me happy and draws in connections with other like minded people. "Meeting" people like you and making these connections is exactly what I want my life to be full of. Thank you again for the encouragement. <3