Starry Night

When night falls and the sun has given reign to the moon, look up. I don't mean just look straight ahead. I mean look up so that your neck is tilted back and you could potentially trip because you missed that rock on the ground. It sounds so basic, so easy- just look up. 

But how many of us really give any more than a passing glance to the star-lit infinite hanging over our heads at the end of each day? 

I spent a large percentage of today (and the last several) driving myself nuts while over-analyzing every situation I could possibly think of, getting engulfed in my 'To-Do' lists and trying to, once again, plan out my entire future all at once.

As I was walking back to my house late this evening, I felt compelled to look up. I have forgotten to do so for months. When I did, I was greeted by an incredibly sharp clear sky gorged with stars of varying intensities. I remembered immediately why it's so important to slow down, take a deep breath and, even if just for a second, let go of the 8 billion thoughts racing through our heads moment to moment.

It's like an instant meditation, a visibly intangible reminder of how infinitely small we are and that at the end of it all, most of what we worry about is insignificant in the grand scheme of things. 

We're so small, and yet every single thing we do creates millions of complex repercussions of which we will likely never know about. Our actions affect everything around us. It's a balance between understanding how profoundly significant we are and how absolutely minuscule we are at the same time. 

We're tiny, but we matter.

For me, it's the ultimate reminder to live the best I know how, to love with every ounce of my being and to be completely and utterly grateful for each numbered breath. 

Don't Say It Unless You'll Do It

How many times have we made empty commitments like, "I'll call you later," "We'll hang out soon, "I'll get better with staying in touch," or "I'll help you with that"?

We've all done it. We say those lines because in the moment we think we mean them, but later rolls around and makes a liar of us.

But it doesn't have to be that way.

This last year has emphasized the importance of follow through in my everyday life. I've been working on not mindlessly spouting off meaningless promises because even though they don't seem important, those seemingly insignificant moments add up to how others gauge the integrity of your word. It happens on such a covert level we don't even realize it consciously most of the time.

That is, until we find ourselves simultaneously making other plans when we make plans with that person we know will flake.

Each unfulfilled commitment weakens the power of what we say because there's no foundation of doing to hold it up.

My challenge to us is to be increasingly mindful and intentional about what we say because though it is true that actions speak louder than words, words have the potential to be powerful when they carry a high degree of purpose and integrity.

Make it a priority to ensure you follow through with the "little" commitments because they contribute to the foundation of trustworthiness you build with others on a daily basis.

Unselfishly Selfish

We have a problem in our culture. We seem to believe that doing what's best for ourselves is somehow selfish. Why should I get enough sleep, eat well, have some solitary quiet time, do something that makes me happy when I could be focusing entirely on putting that energy everywhere else? We have effectively bred a culture that feels it must always be on the go, expending every last bit of energy, but for what? To make more money? To have a bigger nicer house? To have a prestigious career? To make sure everyone else's expectations are met? To appear to have the perfect marriage and family?  To look like we're invincibly happy when we're utterly miserable? We're always busy and yet, somehow, still get nothing done.

I had a conversation with my good friend and trainer about her sister who found out she has stage 4 breast cancer who is doing unbelievably (some may even call it miraculously) well, and we discussed how something like that literally forces you to stop and really look at what's important. When boiled down, it doesn't matter how many hours you've worked, how many committees you're on, or how much "stuff" you're doing. Those things aren't going to sustain you when all else falls away. We all believe she is healing because she stopped and realized that she needed to spend more time taking care of herself- all of those seemingly "easy" things like resting, eating well, and exercising are imperative to improving not only our physical, but our mental health. Additionally, and arguably most importantly, she's spending more time with her family. When our lives seem as though they're falling apart, it's the people we love and who love us in return that matter most. I hope that the question I will ask myself at the end of my life will be, "Did I love to the best of my ability?" And even more, I hope that the answer is an unwavering confident, "Yes."

None of this really sounds selfish when you stop and actually think about it, but why then do we feel pangs of guilt  when we ignore the emails and phone calls from work when we're spending time with our families, or when we decide to take an hour at the gym and say, "I should be accomplishing (fill in the blank) task."? There will always be a million and one expectations and "shoulds" hanging over our heads, but if your rationalization begins with "I should..." stop and ask yourself why. Why should you? Why should you sacrifice your one and only life to the things that matter least? Because you want to and it will contribute to a richer more meaningful life that bring you and those you love joy? Or because the ominous -They- expect it of you? 

Over the years, I've learned that we need to learn to be unselfishly selfish. We need to learn to say 'no' to what isn't a positive contributor to our lives and accept only what brings out the best in us, and in turn, we inevitably will bring out the best in who and what surrounds us. 

It's becoming increasingly important that we learn to slow down, be less busy, and love every.single.precious.moment. We can have a glimpse into immortality when we are entirely present in the the here and now because every moment is of infinite worth. 

Last Things

What if you knew that everything you did this week would be the last time you were ever able to do it- that your life would end with the week? Going to the grocery store, cleaning your house, watching a movie, driving your car, taking a walk, spending time with the people you love... How would your attitude and awareness change if you knew going in that you would never do that thing again? Most likely, you would be more present than you've ever been- you would hone in on each.and.every.single.moment doing your best to pay explicit attention and enjoy what you have for the time you have it. Even something like scrubbing your kitchen floor could become new and sacred because it's no longer just a chore- it's a part of life. Your life.

Here's the thing- we don't usually get the luxury of such a head's up. Every day, every minute, every action could be the last.

I know, it sounds like a really difficult (nearly impossible) task to cultivate that much awareness in every second of our days (and potentially a bit depressing), but the point is not to focus on dying- it's to focus on being grateful and present. The payoff for presence is priceless. The payoff is a richer and more meaningful life filled with deeply connected relationships, less angst about the mundane, and greater clarity about your reason to exist.

We spend so much of our time racing from one thing to the next we never notice we've passed by, what would have been, some of the most precious memorable times in our lives. At the end of the day, the week, the month, the year, our life- it's not going to matter how many emails we've answered, how many errands we've run, how many things we've accumulated, or how much money we've made. What is going to matter is the answer to this question:

How well did you love?

 How well did you love the people you cared about, the things you were passionate about, yourself, and the life you lived?

Living the answer to that question will redefine the choices you make because the superfluous noise and stuff will fade, and what's truly important will come forefront. Love what’s important to you to the best of your ability. Be open, patient, compassionate, and accessible. You never know if that thing you're doing is the last chance you'll ever have to do it. Don't let a single sacred second pass you by.