Friday, January 11, 2013

"When Nothing is Certain, Anything is Possible"

Last trimester flew by, and we're already well into January. I have an entire 7 months here, but I only have 7 months here. I still have no idea of what I want to be when I grow up. My dad just sent me a text reminding me to slow down and enjoy the time I have- something will come to me. It's hard for me to not want to plan it all out, but I have to remind myself to enjoy the moment I'm in and not worry about the ones to come because the reality of life is that the ones to come may never arrive. Aside from that, I also have no idea what unexpected opportunities may lie around the bend. 

My visit home caused me to have a brief moment of considering moving back- I didn't realize how much I had missed my friends and family until I returned. It was like entering a warm room after being in the cold and not realizing you were freezing. But as fate? luck? would have it, a series of events reminded me that I left for a reason. I am on a journey, and I cannot settle until I find those things I addressed in my post (A Few) Things I Learned the Last 3 Months. I made a commitment to myself to give myself the chance to discover all of those things that make me come alive- that give my life depth and meaning. I chose this path, and now I must follow it to whatever end.

I realize I will have many days in the coming months when I will panic about my future, but I know I need to take a deep breath, and let life come as it will. Since I've been here, I've reaffirmed my love of travel, food, training, and writing. Additionally, I've also discovered how much I love building relationships with my students. They make every day worth my fear and self-doubt and give me hope in ways I would have never discovered otherwise. I'm as excited to see how their lives unfold as I am about my own. How will I combine all of these? I have no clue yet. But I'm sure I'll figure it out. Eventually. 

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