Friday, February 3, 2012

A Sorta Love Story

Heartbreak is possibly one of the worst forms of sad. It leaves you feeling like you got knocked under a huge wave and each subsequent wave keeps you from knowing which way is up. My last heartbreak was unexpected and surprisingly intense. I couldn't imagine what the point of it was, and the cliche "everything happens for a reason" was beyond irritating. I argued that perhaps, just perhaps, sometimes shit happens and there is no reason. Sometimes people are reckless with other people's hearts and that's it. Sucks because there's no rationalizing it when there's no explanation or greater good to derive from the situation. 

And then, as life would have it, I was forced to eat my words. 

I have never experienced such a clear and distinct series of events that brought purpose to that sadness as I did in this instance. If I wouldn't have been heart broken, I wouldn't have posted a pathetic Facebook status update. If I wouldn't have posted that update, my dear friend wouldn't have suggested a visit to Colorado. If I wouldn't have made the trip to Colorado, I wouldn't have had the experiences I did or met such an inspiring group of people. If those things wouldn't have happened, I wouldn't have realized that it is time for me to follow my heart and stop listening to what others think I "should" be doing. I have the power and choice to change my life. Believing anything else is a lie. 

So, things didn't turn out the way I thought they would when they started, but they certainly turned out better than I could have possibly imagined. I don't have a relationship to show; instead I have a life that has been set on fire, a renewed spirit, a stronger sense of Self, courage to face what's to come, and hope for brighter days ahead. 

I am in love with my life. Honestly. 

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